OtomeO's
by Kuma Kuma
Summary: *GASP* Reports are coming in that Otome are being eaten in the border colonies. Third Column, Shizuru Viola investigates and returns to Garderobe with her discovery.


Otome-O's

A quick one-shot. I hope you all enjoy it!

****

A loud rumble filled the spacious office, bringing the dark haired beauty seated at the desk out of her stupor. The Gakuenchou of Garderobe Academy, Natsuki Kruger, had been working since early that morning and hadn't had a chance to eat breakfast. Normally, her partner and assistant, Shizuru Viola, would awaken before her and would prepare a thoughtful and nutritious meal. If she were really lucky, she would be awoken in an inventive manner. On these mornings, the tawny haired assistant would make sure to pack a breakfast to go for her emerald eyed lover, for the 'wake-up' sessions tended to last right up until the time the Gakuenchou was due in to work.

Alas, there was no breakfast prepared this morning and definitely no wake-up call for Natsuki. Shizuru had been sent out on a mission to investigate a strange and very disturbing report of Otome being 'eaten' by the inhabitants of the border colonies. Youko Helene, Garderobe's physician, hadn't detected any Otome losing their lives, so the rumors were completely unsubstantiated. However, due to the serious nature of the rumor, the Second Column decided that the Bewitching Smile Amethyst had better go and check out the situation to make sure nothing nefarious was occurring.

Shizuru had gone as ordered, and after only a few days she had sent word back that the border colonies were secure and nothing out of the ordinary was happening. The rumors were the result of a misunderstanding, and the Third Column would fully explain when she returned.

The young school headmistress was anxious to see her lover. When she received word that Shizuru had returned late in the morning and would like to have lunch with Natsuki, the dark haired woman was ecstatic. However, it was nearly 2 o'clock in the afternoon, and her crimson-eyed lover had yet to arrive. Several times Natsuki had attempted to communicate with Shizuru via their GEM's, but each time she had been cut off by the honey haired Otome and was told to be patient, for preparing their meal was quite time consuming.

Natsuki was about storm down to the school's dining hall to find her partner when a smiling Shizuru made a sudden entrance into the Gakuenchou's office holding a tray covered with a silver lid.

"Shizuru! What have you been doing? I've been waiting for you to arrive for hours, and I'm completely starving!" Natsuki exclaimed as her stomach did a simultaneous rumble.

Upon hearing the harsh words escape from her dark-haired lover's mouth, the smile fell from Shizuru's lips, and the Otome paused on her journey toward the desk, "Mou, Natsuki needs a lesson in patience and perhaps a brush-up course in etiquette," Shizuru continued with crimson eyes narrowed, "Perhaps I should leave and ask Miss Maria to report to your office so you might receive these lessons."

Natsuki let out a gasp of surprise laced with mild terror as she jumped over her desk toward her perturbed lover. The headmistress' emerald eyes where wide with fear as she gently grasped the forearm of the quickly retreating Third Column.

"I'm so sorry Shizuru! I didn't mean to snap at you! I'm so happy you've finally returned home and ever so grateful that you've spent the last couple of hours preparing a meal for me. PLEASE DON'T GET MISS MARIA!"

A sweet smile returned to the lips of the Third Column, "Ookini Nat-su-ki! I'm glad you remembered your manners. Now, shall we eat?"

With a smile of relief plastered on her face, Natsuki nodded her head fervently and took the tray from her partner and set it on the desk. Continuing to remember the years of etiquette lessons that Miss Maria had drilled into her at a young age, the Gakuenchou pulled out a chair for her lover before she sat down herself.

Pulling the lid from the tray, Natsuki was greeted by two bowls of an unknown substance. Each bowl contained what appeared to be tomato soup, though it appeared thicker than she was used to, and the color was slightly off. Within the soup substance were numerous oddly shaped pieces of yellowy white... things. Natsuki wasn't sure what those things were, but they looked suspiciously slimy.

With a huge smile on her face, Shizuru asked her lover what she thought of the surprise meal.

"Uhhh....." was all that escaped the lips of the headmistress as she stared down at the two bowls and desperately attempted to think of something_,_ _anything_ to say to her partner.

"Mou, I thought Natsuki would be delighted by what she saw! It's not everyday that one has a food shaped to look like them," said Shizuru with a slight pout.

Emerald eyes squinted in confusion as she continued to stare at the soupy mess before her, "What are you talking about Shizuru?"

"Ara, do you not see my likeness in your bowl?" asked the light-haired brunette as she took a spoon full of the yellowy white things and brought them closer to Natsuki's face.

Taking the spoon from Shizuru's hand, the headmistress removed one of the slimy looking things and placed it in the palm of her hand. With sudden comprehension, Natsuki realized she was looking at a very crude likeness of Shizuru in her Meister robe. A tiny naginata that was slung across her shoulders was really the only identifying mark.

"Holy crap, that's you!" laughed Natsuki. "Did you make these?"

The Third Column explained to her lover that the industrious people of the border colonies had been making a similar pasta dish like this for years. In the dry climate, with plentiful subterranean water sources, tomatoes and wheat grew exceptionally well. They developed a method of mass producing a pre-cooked pasta that could last for months in a can without going bad. Only recently had they developed a method of making the pasta into elaborate shapes and decided to make cans of what they called "Otome-O's", which they were selling to neighboring countries for a profit. This is why the rumors of Otome being consumed had first developed.

"Well, that's a relief! I'm sorry you had to go all the way out there because of this...um...canned pasta," laughed Natsuki. The Gakuenchou continued to look through the pasta images hoping to find her likeness, but found nothing but small, slimy Shizurus. "Hey, why are there only Shizuru shapes in here?" questioned Natsuki with a frown.

A small pout appeared on the tawny haired Otomes face, and she sobbed out, "Does my Natsuki not find any pleasure in eating me? Will she not feel fulfilled until she eats Haruka-san or Anh-oneesama?"

"B-baka! I love eating you, and I certainly don't mind if you're the only Otome I ever get to eat!" blurted out the dark haired Otome, and her cheeks took on a familiar rosy glow once she realized what she had said.

Shizuru leaned toward her lover and purred, "Then I shall hold you to that, my love, and I shall stick to eating only my Natsuki." Shizuru loved the brighter shade of red that erupted over her lover's features and exclaimed, "Kawaii! Your face matches the tomato sauce!"

Without warning, Shizuru jumped in the emerald-eyed beauty's lap and began to lick and nibble on the headmistress face. "You're like a giant Natsuki-O!" cooed the light-haired brunette in delight as she continued to press kisses to the Second Column's face.

Mid-kiss Shizuru heard her love grumble something unintelligible, "What did you say, my Natsuki-O?"

If possible, Natsuki's face turned an even brighter shade of red, "Um, I was just wondering if there really were any Natsuki-shaped Otome-O's?"

With a wide smile, Shizuru arose from Natsuki's lap and sat back down in her chair. Lifting her bowl to her lover's face, she exclaimed, "Dear one, I was not joking when I said I would stick to eating only Nat-su-ki."

Looking down into the bowl, the headmistress realized that her lover's pasta shapes were different from her own. With unconcealed delight, Natsuki picked up one of the shapes and examined it.

"What the hell is between my legs?!" howled the Gakuenchou is rage.

"Fu, fu, that is your weapon materialized! The manufacturer of Otome-O's was considering changing your likeness, but I assured him that it wasn't necessary," giggled the tawny haired Otome in delight.

"W-what!? Why'd you do that? It looks like I have a giant penis!"

"I know, isn't it great?" laughed the lighter-haired Meister. "If you put a Natsuki and Shizuru together it's like a reenactment of my birthday last month."

"Shizuru!! I'm going kill you!" screamed the headmistress as she chased her laughing crimson-eyed lover around the office.

****

Several hours after Natsuki had eaten Shizuru and the bowl of slimy pasta, the headmistress found herself inexplicable hungry. After consuming the Otome-O's Natsuki didn't think she'd ever eat again, for the small slimy pieces of pasta had been like a lead weight in her gut. She would've asked Shizuru to make her something, but the Third Column was currently indisposed. It appeared that the Bewitching Smile Amethyst and highly processed food products did not mix well.

Not wanting to burn down the school, Natsuki decided to go down to the students' mess hall and see what was on the dinner menu. When she stepped into the dining room, she was greeted by the horrifying sight of Otome-O's. Every student had a bowl in front of them and every student was in a different stage of indigestion.

Natsuki strolled into the kitchen and grabbed the first student cook she encountered. "You, Irina Woods, where did all of these Otome-O's come from and why did you open all of the cans up?"

"Oh, uh, Shizuru-oneesama brought them back from the border colonies. Earlier today she came down to the kitchens and asked us to open the cans and pull out every Shizuru and Natsuki-oneesama we could find," replied the nervous Coral. "She was really insistent that nobody be allowed to eat those two shapes but you and her. There are only a dozen or so of each type in every can, so we had to open a lot of cans to find enough to fill two large bowls."

Natsuki suggested they just dump the rest of the Otome-O's into the compost bins and she would deal with the inevitable ire of Miss Maria, but Irina explained that thanks to Tomoe, the canned pasta was almost gone. The girl had been obsessed with finding and eating a Shizuru and had been willing to consume bowl after bowl in her futile search for one. Not wanting to incur the wrath of Miss Maria for wasting food, Irina chose to omit the fact that Tomoe would never find a Bewitching Smile Amethyst.

Suppressing her desire to laugh, Natsuki smiled at Irina and told her to dump the rest of the pasta before the poor girl exploded. Irina was about to follow her orders when a sweaty and bloated Tomoe appeared at the kitchen window and rudely demanded another bowl of the pasta. Hidden from Tomoe's view, Natsuki gave Irina a nod to go ahead and comply with the green haired girl's wishes and dish out another serving. Hell, if the rude, weird-haired girl was too stupid to notice that there weren't any Shizurus in the pasta, she wasn't going to stop her from eating it.

*****

**A/N:** Many of you probably recognized the canned pasta being served as Spaghetti-O's. Normally the pasta is in fact 'O' shaped, but in the last 10 years or so they've started making shapes, such as Disney princesses. My girlfriend and I are a couple of anime geeks, so of course we discussed how cool it would be if they made Otome shaped ones, which evolved into this short story. I'm sorry if I insulted any Spaghetti-O lovers out there. They just don't sit well with either of us. ;-)


End file.
